Pain. Hurt. Sickness. It all sucks and it’s not fun to deal with. Whether it’s a cold, the flu, period pain, or anything else. But pain can also come in the form of grief or life struggles.
Right now, I’m in pain and it hurts. I honestly don’t know if it’s from my PCOS, something I have eaten or drank (or multiple things), something related to my cycle, or a sickness I caught.
Whatever it is though, it sucks. Cramps. Back pain. Headache. Nausea. And just feeling yucky.
The past six months I have been working on healing my body and trying to balance out my hormones because they were extremely out of wack since at least my high school years (a decade ago). Healing your body after years of disfunction is not easy. I have always had a weird cycle but since starting hormone supplements, it’s gotten better as well as worse. I’m currently in my ovulation phase and I think this is worse than when I had my last period a few weeks ago. The pain is awful. I think I have a pretty high pain tolerance but right this minute, I’m not so sure. Cramping/pain around my stomach and lower back along with nausea and a headache is putting this all at a 8 or so on the pain level scale.
And then there’s the “pain”, or maybe hurt is a better word, that comes with being alone. I don’t mean the alone as in I don’t have friends or family. I mean the no other person here with me right now type of alone. It’s hard to be sick alone when you wish someone could take care of you or offer to help with house things that should be getting done.
No one really talks about dealing with a chronic disease by yourself. As much as you surround yourself with others who support you, ultimately you still have to fight the battle alone. Well, I take that back – yes and no. I am fighting this chronic, invisible hormone health battle by myself BUT I am not alone, not really. My amazing heavenly Father is always with me. I am physically alone but He says that He will never leave me or forsake me. He is right here with me… Thank you, Jesus!
God does not say that we will be without pain or suffering. He actually tells us we will have it. But, he reminds us that He will always be with us and our faith will become stronger as we go through trials. I know I am not immune to suffering in this life but man, it sucks and is hard. Some days the pain of this life has me hoping and praying more for heaven. And thinking what heaven is like for my loved ones who are already there, free from the pain of this broken world.
I know God will use my story, every part of it, but some days it’s a little harder to hide the pain, even if the pain is needed to bring healing.
Growth, Grace, and Healing 