Hard

This week has been hard. Not difficult but just a struggle to get through.

I have kinda had my period all week. I have had a headache almost every day. I have been extremely exhausted and just not myself. I have not wanted to eat much and I’m eating because I know I need to. My acne has been insane and not at all fun to deal with.

I have been questioning what to do with a new situation that has come up. I have been tense and short at times with the kids that I work with. I was kicked, hit, disrespected with words by seven year olds, and also a three year old tried to bite me. Oh and you can add cleaning up multiple potty accidents to the list as well, in one day.

So yes, this week has been a lot. I’m sitting here exhausted, drained, and with stomach pains debating what to do. I work at the coffee shop in two and a half hours. I have a small list of things I need to do before then but honestly, I don’t know if I can make myself do them right now. I feel like I physically can’t.

I just want to feel okay and feel like myself again. But this is the struggle that I’m facing. This is my current reality.

So with all of that in mind… I think I will choose grace. I will choose grace even though sometimes that is very hard and even seems like the wrong decision.

Grace

Grace to be kind to my hurting and somewhat broken body. Grace to remind myself that it’s okay to put everything else on hold and just focus on me and what I need – currently rest. Grace to allow myself to feel these feelings that I don’t like and cry if I need to.

Today I choose grace and Jesus. He is the only one I need. Jesus is the one who sees the pain and circumstances that not everyone else does. Jesus and grace is what I choose.